How Much Time Does an Average Divorce Take?
When deciding whether or not to file for divorce, one of the main questions that continues to arise is regarding how long the process may take. An average divorce can take six months up to a year, and if there is high conflict within that divorce, it can take much longer, meaning that you may spend significant time in court and incur substantial fees.
Don’t let this deter you, as a skilled attorney can walk you through the process and help provide proven strategies to help both parties come to an agreement, avoid conflict when possible, and shorten the length of time it takes to come up with a reasonable solution.
Understand the Priorities of the Courts
One of the most effective ways to find a reasonable solution when considering a divorce is to view the divorce through the court’s eyes and present a strategy that will appeal to them. Courts will always err towards making decisions that are in the children’s best interest. This priority is especially important when it comes to high-conflict divorces.
High conflict that is unresolved means that children will inevitably suffer, so courts will want to eradicate the conflict at all costs and ensure that co-parenting in the future is a viable option.
The most discussed topics in divorce court are inevitably child custody, alimony, and division of assets. When approaching the court with a reasonable solution, seeing through their perspective greatly benefits you and your attorney.
What Makes a Divorce High-Conflict?
As you can assume, high-conflict divorce typically means that both parties aren’t able to agree on the divorce terms or act civilly towards one another. What may not be apparent is the other characteristics involved in divorce that make it overwhelming to navigate.
For instance, if your partner is a narcissist or has narcissistic tendencies, they will take you filing for divorce as a direct hit to their ego, will refuse to “lose” against you, and be on the defense for most or all of what you bring to the table during the proceedings. You will need to strategize with your attorney to avoid unnecessary court time.
Maybe there is a history of abuse or aggression in your marriage that you have addressed or chosen not to. If this is the case, there may be more complex strategies, such as gathering evidence to support the abuse allegations, that need to be done before the process. This step may require speaking to witnesses, gathering past police or medical reports, and more.
Mediation May Be a Viable Option
Mediation may be a viable option for couples that can’t seem to agree on anything. What appeals to many regarding mediation is that it provides a neutral, professional third party to discuss terms that need to be resolved privately rather than in the courtroom.
Mediation can be an excellent option for those who wish to keep delicate matters behind closed doors. Furthermore, when engaging in mediation, high-conflict topics such as alimony or child custody can be resolved or at least fairly discussed through the expertise of the professional to gain some momentum to come to a resolution, even if one isn’t effectively reached through the process.
Mediation can save time and money when moving forward with a divorce, especially in cases where there may be high conflict.
Document or Record Everything
One of the characteristics that is common through a high-conflict divorce is dishonesty or misrepresentation. The other party may try to convince the courts of things that aren’t even remotely true to bolster their chances of getting what they want. They may use eyewitnesses, character witnesses, false information, and more to get their point across.
If you have a consistent record of communication throughout the process, you can use this as evidence against false allegations. You can also establish that the other party isn’t willing to negotiate, is exhibiting abusive tendencies, and more.
Save all voicemails, emails, and texts, and record phone calls if you can (with the approval of your attorney) to ensure that you have solid evidence to back up what you are bringing to the courts and allow the judge to see through what the other parties may be trying to convey.
Seek the professional guidance of your experienced attorney for more tips on keeping a consistent record that you can use in court.
Self Care is Imperative
While going through a high-conflict divorce, it can be challenging to remember to take care of ourselves and ask for help. Getting enough sleep and relying on professionals such as therapists to help us through the process may be necessary to help us navigate the daunting process.
Working with an experienced attorney you can trust is another way to ensure that you are taking care of yourself throughout the process. It can allow you to feel that you are not alone, that you have a fierce advocate by your side who is in addition to your family and friends, and that you can seek some peace and comfort in knowing that you have an experienced legal professional to guide you through the process.
Your Fierce and Tireless Advocates
Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. By working with an experienced attorney who has helped hundreds of clients over the years, you can rest assured that your divorce will be as seamless as possible.
For some, even in high-conflict divorces, working with the right attorney can be the first necessary step in reducing the stress in your life and moving on to the next chapter with pride.
Contact our office at 781-531-8673 to schedule your free initial consultation, learn why our clients recommend us to others, and take that first step to this new chapter in your life.